An important part of being better than your old self is knowing who to emulate. Obviously, you should emulate us – we’re awesome and your mom and girlfriend both think we're hot, but who else? It’s a complicated question with a complicated answer: we tend to look up to those who are successful in the fields of our interest. You might look up to the dungeon master you play D&D with because he has such an encyclopedic knowledge of hit points and dragon attributes or some shit... well you’re wrong to feel that way, and I’m disappointed in you for still thinking like that.
In the interest of speeding things up a bit, we're going to provide you with a list of people you should idolize for one reason or another in a series of installment. Today's installment:
The god damn batman
Yeah, yeah, yeah, comic books are nerdy, right? Well they are, but luckily for you and me, Batman transcends ink and paper. There are numerous incarnations of Batman spanning genres from animated to live action, and a multitude of combinations in between… so it’s important that you find the right one to hero-worship. So how do you know which one?
Easy, the crazy as fuck one.
Batman doesn’t stand for truth, justice, or the American way like his boy Supe’s does; Batman stands for face punching, revenge, and explosive bouts of rage violence wrapped up in the most American type of capitalism one can imagine, all while staying in totally awesome shape and pulling bitches like no man in a cape has a right to do.
It’s not Batman’s moral code you should look up to, nor his inheritance. You should look up to the way he turns Batman on and off: throw on a tux and charm the pants off a room full of women, then throw on some tactical gear and crush the larynx of a guy who was trying to steal a pack of gum. Was the thousands of dollars in medical bills worth a pack of gum? You’re god damn right it was, he’s the fucking batman.
Doesn't that picture give you the impression that I get up in the morning yearning for a little time in the gym? I'm probably the kind of guy that works out first thing in the morning and watches the sunrise while I'm on my run, right? Wrong. I hate getting off the couch, I hate struggling through hangovers, and I hate how exhausted and useless I feel for an hour after I work out.
So then why the hell do it?
Because there's a short window between hating having to get off the couch and hating how strongly I want to vomit up my post-workout protein shake that I feel positively invincible. For twenty minutes, I'm roving the gym like a hungry tyrannosaurus: devouring forty-five pound plates and laying waste to any lift that stands in my way.
Then I feel like this again:
It's worth it. Go get your fifteen minutes of invincibility and come back. I'll wait for you.
Well you're an idiot - turns out these giant mammals not only communicate with an alien race from the other side of the galaxy via whale call (yeah, that was a Star Trek IV reference that only two of you will get) but they also like blowing the minds of fools who think swimming with a forty-ton animal that's been hunted to near extinction by the human race is a fun way to spend a Sunday. The joke's on the whale though, because that dude totally just shat his pants in the middle of dinner.
What could possible go wrong?
A little while back, we took on our biggest challenge yet: to take a lake boat out into the open ocean and down the Eastern Seaboard. We were told that it wasn't possible, that the boat couldn't make it, that we were fools...
And all of that is pretty much true.
We've still got a ton of footage to get through, but the first short video I made shows that even amidst Poseidon's wrath, there was still fun to be had, and ultimately isn't laughing in the face of danger what being an Archetype is really all about? (It is, in case you weren't sure.) A few days after this footage was recorded, we ended up shipwrecked off the coast of Atlantic City, but at the time, we were gleefully unaware of our impending doom. Here's the first of what's sure to be a handful of videos about our adventure!
A recent study by the Smithsonian (did you guys know they did science and not just Ben Stiller movies?) announced that mosquitoes are up to 20% more likely to bite you after drinking just ONE beer. Of course, scientists in Japan discovered the same correlation in 2002, and some in France published a paper on it in 2010, but we're in America, and we're not in the business of having our beer science conducted by Godzilla fearing wine tasters.
Probably could have saved some money by googling "mosquitoes and beer" instead of partying with this guy.
Despite three different nations devoting their resources to what kinds of booze bugs prefer instead of curing cancer or canceling "Here Comes Honey BooBoo," no one has been able to determine exactly why it is that mosquitoes prefer to bite people that have thrown a few back. Which is incredible to me, because it's clearly because mosquitoes like beer and can't bite through cans.
Nor can they hold up their own kegs.
So what can you do to prevent being eating alive while you're out adventuring in the great out doors? Stop drinking beer. Hahahahahahahahaha no, i'm just kidding - instead, cover yourself in poisonous insecticides and party until the cancer gets you. Hopefully science will get back to working on a cure for that now that we've got the mosquito thing under wraps.
Injuries are speed bumps, not road blocks.
I was asked by the American made apparel company Oscar Mike to take some pictures in their gear and provide them with an example workout that they could post for their recurring, "On the Move Wednesday" posts. It meant a lot to me, in large part because just nine months ago I had all but decided that my days in the gym were numbered. My left knee, which had been surgically repaired a bit over a year prior, was once again a mess. I needed a bone graft in my tibia, a new ACL and the cartilage in the knee was torn too badly to continue to be of any use. I was told, once again, that I would never run, lift, or conduct myself in a generally badass manner ever again.
Lucky for me, doctor's can be wrong (and they seem to underestimate my ability to self medicate with vodka)
An important part of becoming an Archetype is pushing yourself to do the very things most people don't think you can. This afternoon, I'll be popping a few motrin and heading to the gym. You can too... so what's your excuse again?
Click on Oscar Mike picture below to go to their site and read my article! While you're there, pick up one of their awesome shirts and support a Veteran friendly, all American company!
I've been the lucky recipient of six surgeries to date, and lord knows I'll probably be lucky enough to snag a few more before the cold hand of Death smacks the beer from my grip and sends me packing. Being aware that your manner of lifestyle choice lends itself to a short lifespan grants you the freedom to make some bad choices; choices like hiking a mountain only about four weeks after a bone graft and knee reconstruction. The way I saw it at the time, if my knee exploded during a pleasant jaunt up Wachusett Mountain, it wouldn't have made it through my usual bar escapades anyway.
Besides, we brought plenty of pain medication.
It was slow going, in part because of my knee, and in part because the terrain itself tried to kill us a few times, but the three of us made it to the top and back down before night fell and we were forced to become Mountain People (which would have certainly landed us a show on the Discovery Channel... we probably should have moved slower). Here's a video of our ascent!
The Archetype has always been about new beginnings. We’ve encouraged you to embrace the things about yourself that you like and to work hard to improve upon them, build upon them and become a new version of yourself that the old you would look at with admiration and pride. When I was growing up, I always felt different from those around me. I was an athlete with a pen in his hand, a man’s man writing poems in secret. Over the years, I grew to own the things about me that made me weird, and to stop hiding them. In return, they helped me become a man I’m proud to be.
In the year or so since we started The Archetype, we’ve had a blast, but we never quite pinned down what it was that we were. Are we just some facebook page about dudes that drink too much and look for trouble? Are we about making videos and pictures or are we just a repository for funny stuff we’ve found surfing the net? Is The Archetype a legitimate business or is it just how we justify our good (and often bad) decisions? The truth is, The Archetype is all of those things and so much more. It’s a catch all for a way of life, and that’s incredibly difficult to pin down with a catch phrase or slogan. German and I regularly butt heads about our creative goals, not because we have different visions for the project, but because the project encompasses so much that we struggle to mash it into an existing niche. Somewhere afloat in the Atlantic Ocean, convinced that I was going to die, it came to me: it’s time we created our own niche.
If the Archetype has always been about new beginnings, deciding who you want to be and making it happen, why on Earth haven’t we been approaching it with the same mentality? Simple as it seems, that realization eluded us for some time. Not anymore. Welcome to the new Archetype: a web page that represents a way of life exemplified by the best in us, and the best of us. We made the decision a long time ago to stare life in the face and see who blinks first – here, on this page and in our social media accounts, we want to share that mentality with you. We want you to end up a little bit stronger, and little bit happier, a little bit meaner, and yes… a little bit drunker right alongside us. Some things you’ll see us share will be funny and inappropriate, other things will be serious and even painful. That’s the reality of being an Archetype; change hurts, being different can be hard, and we all crack from time to time.
My wife asked me a short time ago why I feel like I have to take trips that give me more anxiety than pleasure and why I’m always looking for a way to challenge myself to fail. Without giving it a second thought, I responded, “because a long time ago, that’s the man I chose to be.” We climb mountains because they’re there, because a beer tastes sweeter when you earned it, and because you can’t have victory without the occasional defeat. When Shawn, an Archetype contributor spoke to a greasy, long haired boat mechanic in Ocean City, NJ last week about how ridiculous our most recent trip was, the mechanic looked up at him from a sweltering engine bay, shrugged and said, “everything awesome has to be a little bit ridiculous.”
So stick with us folks, The Archetype is here to change the world.